Guys, let me tell you something- it is incredibly hard to blog everyday. Wow. Guess what though? I’m doing it! I have been reading a lot more magazines, blogs and digital publications trying to come up with ideas of what to blog about and I read a post where someone wrote about stuff they did in their twenties that they are glad they did and I was like ooooh, won’t it be nice to write about the experiences I loved getting in my twenties.
Everytime I feel down about the fact that I haven’t had one climbing career since I left uni (which yields great life rewards), I think of all the stuff I’ve done and how it’s added up to who I am now.
Working in the industry/Job of my dreams
After I finished uni, I got a masters and sometime in my final year of uni and deep into my masters, I fell in love with fashion. No like, fell IN love. I started fashion blogging, immersing myself in everything fashion - I was obsessed. The first job I wanted to have in fashion was as a buyer- I don’t know that I was exactly sure what a buyer did but I just wanted to be that. I decided to try my hand at styling- literally the first person I tried to style, I was like this isn’t for me! I was unwilling to merge my vision with theirs, which you need to be able to do as a stylist. That’s when I researched more into buying and thought- I don’t know that this is me.
I didn’t have any fashion experience to apply for jobs - I hadn’t even worked in retail in uni (and I worked a lot in uni), so I decided to get a fashion retail job. My interview was shit, it was the lowest pay I had ever had in my life (in fact, I worked two more jobs at the time just to be able to afford my rent)- but I was working in fashion. Let me tell you, retail is rubbish - very long days- a nice dose of racism from my colleagues- pushing credit cards on people- but I learnt so much. I learnt about how people shop and by my second month, I knew exactly what items would go on sale from the moment they hit the shop floor. I also got a nice employee discount and guess what, it gave me the leg in the door I needed to get a graduate fashion role as a merchandiser for one of the biggest fashion retail brands in the world.
I was thrown into that job from day one- flung in. In my second month, one of my colleagues moved back to Sri Lanka and I was given her departments - the responsibility was huge. I LOVED that job. I tried to work weekends (but we weren’t allowed). I came in early so many times, I was on first name basis with the security guards (they were also Nigerian, so there’s that)- I also came in late sometimes, I’m not a saint. I loved that job so much that when I eventually left to move back to Nigeria and go to law school, that was the thing I missed the most. The job taught me so much about so much, but most of all, that it’s possible to LOVE work, even when the pay is shit (but we had a lot of sample sales and discounts).
Living Alone in London
More than the living alone in London was living alone in itself. I think it went a long way in just teaching me emotional independence- how to think and decide for myself without having to rely on the thoughts and feelings of other people. In the time I was living and working in London, most of my friends that I had for a while weren’t there and while I was making new friends, it wasn’t the same. I spent a lot of time just with myself- walking, running, writing, thinking and just examining who I was.
Working as a commercial lawyer
As much as I’ve always known that I don’t want to be a lawyer and my actual place of work was terrible for my mental health, commercial law taught me so many skills- I worked on extremely huge and complicated cases/deals- I sat in on board meetings - I drafted contracts and wrote minutes and learnt how to think in a different way. My writing and editing skills improved dramatically and that was the one job where I got confirmation that I had to write as a career. It also tamped down on some of the wild and wonderful dreams I had about Nigeria when I was moving back, nothing like seeing the black and white reality of how Nigeria works to give you a dose of reality.
Living in Abuja
Lagos people never leave Lagos except it’s to another country. After law school bar 1, instead of moving to Lagos, I decided to stay in Abuja because it just seemed like the better experience, and I’m glad I did. I spent a lot of time in Abuja itself and got to know the town and it was just nice to have a different experience of Nigerians- that’s when I realise that so many people in Lagos have zero social skills and it’s not at all normal.
Selling Products
So for three Eat Drink festivals, I sold drinks and flirted with the idea of doing it as a full on long term gig. The experience was great- there’s something nice about the maths of buying and selling- it was a good experience, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do long term in the end. I also sold fabric for a year or two, which was a pretty good business with decent margins- you learn so much from selling, it’s good experience for anyone to have.
Getting Fat
Like many things we are socialised into, we are also socialised into certain discriminations. This is by no means the first time I’ve been fat- I’ve gained and lost a lot of weight before, but this is the first time I’ve been fat and not hated myself and wow- what a journey it’s been. I wouldn’t have gotten here without gaining weight. Another aspect of this weight gain that has been interesting is seeing firsthand the difference in the treatment of fat vs slim people. It’s actually kind of crazy! And it’s weird that it’s one of those things that society says is in the imaginations of fat people even though it’s clear. I have gained a lot of acceptance and respect for my body as is, than I ever did when I was tiny!
Living at home and spending time with my mum
After I finished law school and moved back to Lagos, was the beginning of the longest amount of time I had ever spent with my mum. She was retired from banking and working as a baker from her home office so we spoke a lot. I had a lot of resentment from childhood hurts and finally shared with her and we worked through it- not perfectly- but it helped me let go. After I quit my job, we spent even more time together- I think that ended up being her favourite part of me quitting. Those years are now everything to me, now that she isn’t here anymore.
Wow, writing this has taken me back to so many things I’ve done, I can’t fit it all here - I’ve done so much writing work and creative work- I started a clothing business and shut that down- made some fantastic friendships that changed my life - got my heart broken- broke hearts and just generally lived totally and completely - I love all these memories and all the different parts of myself! One day, I’ll put it all in a very long memoir.