Dami Around The Web - Week of Aug 29 2022

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. To see previous posts in this series click here.

This was going to be a very different post. If you’ve read any of the previous editions, you know I really mean it when I say a-round the web. Today though, everything I’m sharing is from one source. I stumbled on one article, ended up reading a lot of them and I was like you know what? It makes sense to just focus on these links today. All headings are hyperlinked.

I’ve never been in a relationship

I think this was interesting in that it’s something I rarely see get talked about but there are people in their 30s and even older that have never been in an “official” romantic partnership and I think it’s something we should hear more about.

Would you pay 12 thousand dollars to go to a retreat to try and forgive your husband for cheating?

It’s interesting because I was like - okay marriage retreats, interesting topic and then every single couple profile was one where the husband cheated. That was interesting too in a very different way.

My marriage to an older guy that has his shit together

Here, the writer talks about meeting her older husband who she calls…actually, I’ll leave that tidbit for you to find out yourself. I was like, finally, an age gap between two adults with fully developed brains (the human brain in general, reaches full development at age 25). Maybe it can be an example to the Leonardo Dicaprio advocates of this world.

When a shared ex is a great way to become best friends

The enemy of my enemy is my friend or something like that. But it makes sense that if your ex has a type, then your ex’s ex is the perfect person to become your new best friend.

How my ex-boyfriend accidentally gave me bitcoin to buy a house

I was more fascinated reading about people who got in on bitcoin when it cost basically nothing.

How the pandemic reshaped the life vision of 30-something-year-old women

I’ve been dying to read more about the lasting effects the pandemic has had on people’s lives. Some of these mental, emotional and even circumstantial changes really resonated with me.

When the church you loved rejects you

When you grow up on and in church, it can remain a safe haven if you never live outside of the limited lines it paints for you. When you come up against those lines, the warmth of community can disappear, and then what?

Share any interesting links you have in the comments as well as any thoughts on these articles. Till next time.

Dami Around The Web - 4

Hello! Welcome again to various things I’ve found around the web recently. I’ve recently gotten more organised in curating and collecting my links and since I had them in one place already, it would have been mean not to share.

Insecure

First Up is Insecure content! Currently airing is the 5th and final season and Issa and the cast have been on a mega press run. There are so many videos and interviews, it was hard to narrow it down to just these two but I think they both do a good job of capturing the essence of her work as the show’s creators and both focus on the show.

PENNY: Issa said in the writers’ room at one point: “When you’re white, racism is a period. Like, ‘This is wrong, this needs to stop, period.’ But when you’re Black, it’s a comma.” It’s like, this racist thing happened to me, but I still have to go pay bills, still have to drive and go home and see my kids. Yes, this thing happened, but how are you going to deal with it?

Nytimes

Vanity Fair

Why DAO?

You may have heard or seen DAO in passing and wondered what the hell it means. This is a solid and clear explanation!

Big Friendship

Everyone that knows me knows how obsessed I am with talking and reading and everything about friendship. This article by two best friends explains how they prioritised fixing their relationship when stuff went sideways. I read it with longing and wished that in certain lost friendships, I had the opportunity to do the same.

Your Job is Not Your Identity

I think this is one that many people struggle with, including me, so, relatable content.

The Life of Muri

Fuad is a gifted writer who has a way of showing the special in the most mundane things. This essay is a great example.

Black women who have raised over $1,000,000 in 2021

Sometimes you just need an inspirational boost! I hope this is it for you.

Dami Around The Web- Week 3

Hello and welcome to another week of me sharing links I came across this week. This week is going to be brief and to the point. As always, headings are hyperlinked. Don’t forget to comment and share.

Bias in Healthcare

Every year or so, there is a headline and a few stories about how racism affects childbirth and chances mortality stats in pregnant women and their babies. What we don’t see as often, is how bias affects every facet of healthcare. This first person account of the effect of medical bias was so infuriating, I don’t know how much work needs to be done to change the system.

Cute Friendship Stories

Female friendships can be so wonderful. I enjoyed these examples of great friendship.

Even more evidence of men being biased against women

Girl boss theory says that if women just acted more like men at work, they would get the same benefits. This article gives a little insight into why that idea is false- and kind of ridiculous.

Evidence of the whole world being biased against female leaders

When women are in positions of power, we hold them to a universally higher standard than men and I don’t like that.

Who is the lead of Judas and the black Messiah?

Very interesting look at award politics. Also, Kate Winslet tried to be the supporting character in “The Reader”??? Come on! It makes me look at awards with a new eye.

Even good partners can be bad

I enjoyed this because someone can transform your life positively and also do something negative. People aren’t just good or bad. This is a perfect example.

A mother that regrets being a mother

This kind of illustrated the thoughtless approach a lot of people take to becoming parents. Society just demands that kids be the next step for every couple without considering what the right choice is for people on an individual level. I hope that we start to examine our choice to be parents, and not just approach it as the next step in life.

Dami Around The Web- Week 2

Can I just say spending all my time online feels better now that I have highlights to share! Without a long ramble intro, let’s get straight to it. All the headings are hyperlinked!

The True story behind I care a lot

Last week, I shared the movie, I care a lot, and a few days after I watched it, I read this 2017 New Yorker article about the real and dangerous world of legal guardianship in America.

Spotify in Nigeria

Last week, I wrote about Tidal being in Nigeria- this week, I’m here to tell you Spotify has joined the party and is now in Nigeria. The premium monthly plans are N900 a month, but there’s also a free tier (with ads) and you can sign up online. As of now, it looks like only some bank cards work- Access bank being one of them. As I don’t have an Access bank account, I take it as a sign that I only need the free version to listen to podcasts that are exclusive to Spotify.

Vanity Fair Jay-Z interview

I like reading profiles. The random details, the length of them. I think done well, they are one of the best kinds of non fiction you can read. This week

On Kim Kardashian’s First Pregnancy

This is an article on Kim’s bravery in facing the constant nasty media attention she got when she was pregnant with North. On reflection, this is an example of how deep fatphobia is because all the negative attention boiled down to, “wow she got fat and she’s showing up in the world”. Forget that the pregnancy was dangerous, forget that so much of it was unexpected, forget that it was her first child- the media, and sometimes comments from family and even her internalised voice cared most about the weight gain. It’s really sad.

Social Media trends from January 2021

This was sort of interesting. We are always trying to hack and understand social media and figure out how to maintain attention. I think we kind of do that in real life as well.

8 Nigerian men on why they regret getting married

Another week, another Zikoko post. I have so many thoughts on this, but at the same time, I have almost no thoughts. I found it interesting how many men were resentful of spending money on their kids and I assume, their wife. I think the pressure of financial expectations on men should be a massive reason men get passionate about dismantling the patriarchy but they seem to see that money nugget in complete isolation. I will say this though- if you HATE your wife, do you both a favour and separate from her. It sounds extremely scary for someone to have such strong negative feelings for someone they share a house and bed with and not do anything about it. It sounds like a dangerous situation to me, truthfully.

That’s all for this week!

Dami Around the Web- Week 1

I thought it might be fun to share links to things I read, watched and just observed around the internet every week!

The headings of all stories are hyperlinked.

On this week…

Fenty Beauty

Fenty Beauty is now a billion dollar company which means we are never getting an album. I am sad, I am mad, I listened to Anti again and wow, it is so good. So no matter what, at least we have that.

Kanye and Kim split is officially announced

I think about Kanye a lot and how his vulnerability in the world has led to him being clowned, him being discussed, hated and made it possible in the split for everyone to take neat sides. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but he has shown way more of this thoughts and feelings than we ever get to see. Kim has said countless times of the amazing things he has done- the amazing ways he has been a father and a husband. But once the news of the split hit, all I saw was “I’m so happy for Kim” “she put up with a lot”- like yo- relationships can end without one person being to blame for everything.

Zikoko Gen Z vs Millenials

Zikoko Published an article with gen z flaming millennials, which led to a two day twitter flaming of millennials . It was hilarious because no generation has ever thought the generation just before them was cool. It’s literally the circle of life.

Bruh- went to bed at 9.30- woke up, listened to an audiobook on affirmation, had a large glass of water and a probiotic then came on twitter to see that millennials were flamed for hours last night😪

— whatdamidid.com (@dami_dv) February 19, 2021

I am such a millennial truthfully and I remember when I was a loot younger, one of my aunties said “you couldn’t pay me money to be a teenager again”- I didn’t get it at the time, but now I do. Growing up is hard.

Softlords are the worst

I had literally never thought about the existence of landlords before covid. A lot of harsh capitalism critique comes out of America and I don’t blame them because the capitalism there is the Wild West of capitalism and the critique is often a paradox, but I digress. In the end, I concluded that the critique of landlords, though having some merit on some level, is also misplaced about where the responsibility should lie- with the government. This made me laugh though, because it captures, not just the softlord, but a lot of business owners in the woke era of life- wanting to appear woke and fair, whilst doing the exact same thing they criticise.

Covid has stolen my identity

Covid has gone on forever and as someone that has erred on “safe than sorry” and more or less stayed inside for the best part of a year, my identity is in flux and this captured a bit of that. Although this ends on a hopeful note, for me, I’m still there and probably would be until the vaccine kicks in and life’s motions begin again.

Journey from working in a Nigerian supermarket to earning $200,000 a year

I think this was an interesting story because it captured just moving through life when your goal is just to keep surviving vs when you have the luxury of a pre-determined path. The mother was also super interesting and I think that kind of thing happens more than we like to admit- a parent feeling slighted by their child’s relationship with another parental figure and how the closeness is often explained by dark magic. It’s a topic for deep exploration.

I Care A Lot

The premise of this movie was scary as hell. A legal guardian exploiting her wards and even though the plot veered off point, I wish that’s where the story stayed. I think a difference between American and say, British cinema is that Americans are unwilling to explore difficult subjects in a sober way. They always veer off topic to keep it entertaining and while that is fun sometimes, it’s worrying when the villain is always a complex character and the victims aren’t ever given voices. It seems like a dramatic thing to say, but entertainment, especially tv, is probably one of the biggest tools for shaping subconscious bias in people, because on some level we start to think of it as reflecting real life. There’s a reason why military invests in movies in America and theres’s a reason why before social media was as deep as it is now, we all believed the hype of America being the most amazing and developed place in the world.

In this movie, there’s another very attractive, super smart, super powerful villain who is opportunistic but also capable of love and friendship. Where is the story of the actual lives of regular people whose only crime was being old. It really is scary and it’s not just an American thing. Old people are often marginalised, not just by society, but by families. Even though they are whole people with whole lives and thoughts and feelings, they aren’t treated like that. In this movie, old is as young as 69. Bruh.

Anyway, it was an entertaining movie and Rosamund Pike is born to play these roles (Gone Girl, I Care A Lot)

Speaking of movies on Netflix, I’ve been watching a lot of old romcoms and wow, the genre has really fallen off. I now remember why that was always my favourite genre. Funny, comforting, great acting, good chemistry between the cast, plus there was always a secondary plot about the importance of friendship, which was also nice. I think I’m just going to keep watching as many of them as I can.

Tidal in Nigeria

Did you know Tidal is now in Nigeria? With their MTN partnership, you can get it really cheap, although it didn’t work for me when I tried to register. I registered on the Tidal web page and it’s $2 a month! what??

Thirty Plus Podcast

I launched my new podcast called Thirty Plus, which is really a rebrand of my previous podcast which had no clear direction. I just want a space to talk about the reality of “being a grown up” without necessarily having the markers or confidence or knowledge about how to navigate that space.

Why Did I Leave Google?

This was an interesting “expectation” vs “reality” piece by Waze co-founder about the reality of life at google after your company is acquired. Being bought out by a tech giant is a dream for many in this day and time, and it was nice to read firsthand experience.

Gemma K’s Perfectly Perfect Love Life

I loved this. It gave me the nostalgic feeling of watching YouTube web series back in the day. I love and respect creatives for taking their careers and opportunities into their own hands and having the confidence to put their work out there, without the validation of an industry giant. I hope this blows up and leads to a great career.

Wow, this has been longer than I expected and I’m going to have to save anything else for next week! Please share interesting things with me in the comments!