Do you ever think of how insane female socialisation is? There are so many things we are conditioned to think and believe that we will never fully be rid of it, no matter what- hopefully, if we choose to have kids, we can make conscious efforts to not pass it alone.
Do you ever think of how weird it is that we are socialised to be objects- us, by existing. I think of phrases like “leave something to the imagination”- whose imagination? why?
Why is “sexy schoolgirl” a thing? I remember one time, a few years ago running in my estate and a teenager was walking to school and I thought “is her skirt a bit short?”. I had to interrupt that thought in my head - why on earth did I think a teenager’s school skirt was a problem?
Along with “sexy schoolgirl”, there’s sexy librarian, sexy nurse, sexy every thing. Can women not just do their jobs without some underlying “sexy” thing going on?
I’m not sure I know where the line is between doing things for myself, doing things because I’m “supposed” to and doing things because I’m trying to unlearn so many things that I’ve been socialised to just accept.
If you’re married, have you ever felt that weight of everything domestic- so if your husband says “hmm this countertop is dirty”, you hear “you didn’t clean this countertop”?
I reject the “strong and capable” trope. On the surface it sounds so inspiring and motivating- but when you think of what it means, it becomes overwhelming. Women can’t even say their child isn’t the happiest part of their lives without being crucified for it. How crazy is it that women changing their names is just…normal. If the new family needs a new name, why can’t they invent a new surname? Why can’t they both changing their names be the standard?
I think Covid has made me think more and more about the weight of expectations women take on because they have been disproportionately affected by this pandemic on all fronts - from work to home life.
Let me tell you, living against conditioning is extremely hard and comes with immediate backlash and consequences. Many women find it easier to just stick to the status quo because it’s harder to fight…every single day…every single person. You start to sound crazy, even to yourself.
In order to survive and to live, you can’t fight every battle, you have to settle sometimes.
Even that is exhausting.
You are a person before you are anything else. Try and remember that.