What Dami Watched - Week of Aug 29 2022

Welcome to a week of tv!

Here’s what I watched this week.

Industry S02E05

Season 1 of industry was like an introduction- to the world the show is set in, to the shape of the characters and themes. Season 2 delves deeper into the core of the characters and each episode makes me feel like I’m stretched thin. The pacing of the show is excellent, as well as the dialogue and characterisation, so it’s an hour of tv that feels so much shorter.

Rap Sh!t S01E08 (the finale)

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Season 1 of Issa Rae’s new HBO Max show has been short with only 8 episodes, but Issa has managed to give us the core of the characters, their motivations and the intricacies of their relationships with each other, something that isn’t easy to do in eight 30- minute episodes.

Trying S03E08 (season finale and potentially show finale)

This show has taken us through three seasons of a couple trying to have a baby and now they finally might. This finale tied the whole season together into a very emotionally satisfying ball. I balled my eyes out and wished them all well. Terrific finale.

Good Trouble S04E18

Honestly, sometimes this show feels like it’s in season 18, rather than only season 4. Mariana’s decisions and choices seem to get more and more frustrating and I wonder if this is a game by the writers to see how far they can go to annoy the viewer. At this point, I spend the entire show stressed out at whatever bad decision she’s making, about to make or about to get herself and multiple people into or out of.

Dated and Related (entire series)

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I didn’t finish the finale because honestly, I didn’t care who won. This show about siblings who come on the show to date other sibling pairings to try to find love was strangely very very flat. As far as dating shows go, it was uninspiring, the pacing was off and we never quite got to experience the relationships being formed so everyone seemed like they were acting extremely randomly all of the time. The one bright light was Melinda, an ex dating-reality- show contestant hosting it.

Making the Cut S03E03 and 04

This show is amazon’s answer to project runway and while the 3rd season has improved a lot on its earlier seasons, it is still…not very good. All the elements that make project runway so good- running in and out of mood, spats between contestants, a sense of urgency in each challenge, challenges that forced contestants out of their comfort zone and the expertise of the judges that are currently very much working in the fashion industry and absent from this show. Making the cut brings established designers to make clothes that amazon immediately sells on its site. It is neither inspiring nor interesting and It made me really crave a new season of project runway.

Boston Legal- S01E01 and 02

I saw a clip from this show circulating and realised I had never watched it as it was on before my interest in watching procedural shows (which started with greys anatomy in 2007). It shows some promise but I need to watch a few more episodes to see if I start to care about any of the characters.

Mack & Rita

A super fun watch. Light on romance, heavy on friendship which was nice. It was as predictable as body swapping movies go but I don’t feel like they really committed to the body swapping trope. It was like body swapping made for social media age by a millennial (I haven’t googled the people behind this movie, but it definitely felt very much like a millennial trying to be of the moment. It was a bit weird in places and there were some times where I’m like “does this movie understand what it’s trying to do?”. Overall, it was easy and I enjoyed it.

Love in the Villa

I tried and failed to get through it. As soon as the meet-not-cute happened and the chemistry was as wooden as. baseball bat, I clicked off the movie. I will put up with a lot, but not with a complete lack of chemistry between the main characters. I don’t even mean romantic chemistry, just chemistry at all.

Honk for Jesus

Unfortunately, this movie was big on theme and light on story. The trope of a preacher that has made a lot of money from their congregation is very well known. This story tries to examine more of the wife’s point of view, but doesn’t. We are dropped into a story at the end basically and we are given a time frame where the characters are going to try and get everything back told through the eyes of a documentary they are using as part of their return to victory. First of all, the story doesn’t ring true- I have never once heard of a church that lost its entire congregation especially one that had over 25,000 members, so in order to stretch our imaginations that far, we should have been given more. They also switched the timeline of the comeback mid-way, which as a viewer threw me off balance. The set up for the “honk for Jesus” seemed like it was there to fulfil the name and nothing else. The acting was fantastic and I wished really hard that there was enough story to actually maximise the potential, but there wasn’t. It was very watchable though, so I would still suggest giving it a try.

That’s all for the week. Sad about the rap shit season being over but no real standouts from this week of tv.

Everything you need to know about Amazon Prime Video Nigeria

What is Amazon Prime?

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It is a premium, paid version of Amazon that gives you access to faster delivery, free books, music, and access to the Amazon Prime video service, which houses original content by Amazon on content licensed from other platforms.

Amazon Prime Video Nigeria- signing up

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Recently, Amazon launched their Prime Video Service as a standalone product in Nigeria. It costs 2,300 Naira a month and has a seven day free trial. Unlike other apps that seem to have a problem with most local cards, it seemed to work fine with my regular card, that didn’t work for the “Nigerian version” of Tidal, Spotify or Youtube.

The app is on iOS and Android platforms, and can be downloaded for free. It can also be accessed via any web browser. Once downloaded, there are prompts to guide you through the setup and payments.I already had an amazon UK account with prime that didn’t work for this Nigerian service. It may have worked if I switched my local country on amazon itself but I didn’t think it makes sense to do that for the purpose of one service…so I set up a brand new amazon account for the sole purpose of getting the Nigerian prime video.

Catalogue/User Experience

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Prime Video in Nigeria includes all the same content as prime anywhere else. There are a lot of Nollywood films/tv shows to the extent that it is almost as good as watching something like iroko tv (I assume).I checked this assumption and there are only 142 movies/tv shows in the Hollywood category, which is decent, but definitely not on the same level as a dedicated service for Nigerian content. With Nollywood being the third largest film industry in the world. It makes sense that streaming services are finally putting up Nigerian content AND giving us access to it. The app is intuitive and easy to use and plays nice with my buggy internet service provider.

A cool feature on the app is the x-ray function which tells you who is in a scene when you pause, which is so useful if you’re usually like “the girl that likes corn” to describe a character instead of the character name. I was watching Making the Cut (definitely nowhere as good as protect runway) and you could shop directly on the site by scanning the barcode that came on screen.

Is it worth it?

It depends on what you watch. As I mentioned earlier, there’s also a 7 day free trial. As long as you cancel in that 7 day period, you won’t get charged. So it’s worth getting it and seeing if it’s worth it for you or if you’re already at your streaming limit by now.

Bridgerton Season 2 Discussion

Hello Hello! Another Bridgerton season was foisted on us on Friday and I don’t know why, but my excitement levels going into it were low. If you didn’t know already, the Bridgerton Netflix series is based on a series of books about the Bridgerton family. This season was based on book 2, “The Viscount Who Loved Me”.

Everything after this sentence is going to contain season 1 and 2 spoilers.

The one thing I think this season had going for it was natural, genuine chemistry between Kate and Anthony. The biggest flaw of season 1 was that Daphne and Simon had no chemistry. Rege carried the entire show’s chemistry on his one back and even sex montages couldn’t save the tepid interactions between the mains.

This storyline was a bit more polarising with a sister love triangle, that I personally really enjoyed. Would I want to be in a love triangle with my sister? no. Can I imagine it happening? Also, no. But can I also imagine courtship and having to marry someone because you were seen alone together? No. The fact that it was such a polarising storyline added to the fantasy of the whole thing for me, in part because, Kate never really fought that hard against her feelings. I found she and Anthonys insistence on “doing the right thing” comical when it often involved rubbing noses, breathing hard and staring at each other across every kind of crowded room imaginable.

A complaint I’ve heard about the season is how there wasn’t enough sex and I fully went into it expecting that there were zero sex scene. Imagine my surprise when there was more than one sex scene, there was even a nipple on display (which you know, is oooooh for tv, except you’re normal people where that honour goes to a penis).

My unpopular opinion is that tv show sex scenes between characters that have a lot of natural chemistry can end up being pretty vulgar. It’s much easier to pull off when the characters have very platonic energy.

The flaw of the season was how annoying Penelope was if i’m honest. Eloise was pretty annoying as well actually. Also so funny that Anthony was mentioning honour every five seconds but fully paying for sex, pursuing a relationship that was going nowhere and whispering into her sister’s mouth. Man was busy staring at his bride’s sister on his wedding day and when that fell apart, still went and kissed the babe. At least let a day pass! I did enjoy all of this though when it was happening. LOL.

Also, the beauty of the Sharma family was crazy. Absolute stunners.

Share your unfiltered thoughts in the comments and respond to people who may share your ideas. Let’s get a discussion going, but please stay respectful.

What Dami Watched This Week (Jan 31-Feb 6th 2022)

I’m trying something new. I’ve created spaces to talk about books I read but nowhere to talk about tv show episodes and not just the show in general. Rather than committing to detailed recaps of any one show, I’m going to do a general recap of stuff I watch every week. I will indicate where there are spoilers in specific shows or if the entire thing is just one big spoiler! Suggest stuff that’s good as well. Happy tv show reading!

The Gilded Age S01E01 and E02

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I saw lots of influencer ads for this but wasn’t going to watch it because even though I liked Downton Abbey (written by the same writer), the historical genre is largely a miss for me. My sister- in- law texted me to watch it and since her specific recommendations are few and far between, I watched it and what a show! Great writing, amazing characters, i’m on the edge of my seat waiting for more.

How I Met Your Father - S01E02,03 and 04

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The pilot was kind of a let down and I was sure I knew who the father was in episode 1, but then probably in a moment of boredom, I watched the rest of the episodes and the show picked up a bit of momentum. It’s not something i’ll actively be waiting for every week but it was good and i’m less sure about knowing who the dad is.

Janet Jackson 

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The one reason I’m not crazy about documentaries is that they use these depressing voice inflections and sad sounds- no matter what the subject of the documentary is. I will admit, I didn’t know a great deal about Janet before this doc and I didn’t come out of it knowing a great deal more, but I really respect how impressive of a career she’s had. She’s an amazing artiste.

 Kenan S02E08 and E09 

This is something that is always an easy, no attachment watch. In these episodes, Kenan saves and then loses a relationship and gets into his regular low stakes high jinks.

 The Fallout 

Someone on my twitter TL (yay to Nigeria finally getting twitter back) said how good this movie is. It is about what happens after a school shooting and how it affects the people that were affected by it. This sort of nothing- really- happens-but- we want- you- to- feel- how- they- felt genre really used to be my speed of movie before, but now I don’t know-do I even still like movies? It was alright, it did do a good job of capturing hard spaces in emotion and was maybe a better portrayal of being a modern teenager than many things on American tv (I spoke to no actual teenagers to confirm).

 This s us s06e05 (contains spoilers)

Here I still am watching this show. In this episode, Deja is trying to move cities to live with Malik and like- huh? It kills me the drama of Randall’s family- let’s recap. Randall was abandoned by his drug addict mother, later found his drug addict father who was dying of cancer, then much later, finds out that his mother didn’t actually die but is now dead, then he takes in a child of another addict and then that child, promptly gets into a relationship with a boy that fathered a child at 13 and now has joint custody with his teen ex-girlfriend while he’s in school and now she’s trying to move cities to move in with him. 

 Abbott elementary s01e06

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Now a cult favourite only a few episodes in, this episode dismantled the idea of a gifted program in schools. Why remove a few kids from class, and then give them even more resources to learn?

 Grownish S04E11

I only recently started watching this again and Im enjoying it. Jaz trying to quit track, Zoe in the same triangle shes been in since she got to college and everyone else being everyone else. The storylines don’t really get pushed and I guess it’s not a bad thing, it’s just what it is.

 The Office Season 02 and the beginning of Season 03

I’ll start by saying Parks & Recs is so much better for goodness sake. Michael is insufferable and so is Dwight and just the presence of both those characters reduces the potential of the show by a lot. The only reason I haven’t quit so far is Jim and Pam and even that isn’t looking like it’d be enough but lets see how it goes.

 Blackish season 8-episodes 4 and 5

It’s fun to see these people grow up and by these people, I mean Jack and Diane. It makes sense that this is the final season because they have definitely run out of story. The grandpaarents are finding ways to keep their relationship alive, Bo and whatshisface are finding out that words have meaning, Jack is enjoying life at work and Junior and Diane have nothing to do.

 Project runway s19e14 finale

I’ve watched project runway for 19 seasons, and every year, the judges set someone up for the win and this year was definitely not any different. The finale collection definitely wasn’t the winning collection. All in all, I wasn’t particularly invested in any specific person winning, so it was fine with me and I enjoyed an all female finale. I missed Elaine in the finale- she’s definitely my favorite judge because I think she brings a fresh perspective to the panel, being the youngest and black judge. 

Sweet magnolias s02e01

The first season of this came out in 2020 and when I tell you, I don’t know what I was watching when I started this second season- I couldn’t remember a thing! I just had to give up after episode 1. On top of not remembering, its that kind of virgin river vibes where I watched and enjoyed the first season but as soon as another season came out, I was like wait? I’m not sure I like this show? The verdict is out on whether or not I will carry on.

 Workin’ mums s06e05

Listen, at this point, these mums need to get it together man. I feel like at some point, they swapped the complexities of working mums for like the misadventures of Kate and her friends and I’m not sure about it but I’m still watching. 

 The Royal Treatment 

I hate to say a movie was bad, but this was bad. I’m not sure how we went from having some of the most fun rewatchable movies under the romcom genre to hastily put together plots with no chemistry or fun dialogue or anything. I held on waiting and waiting but all I got was stretched out tropes and a not that fun love story.

 Suspicion (S01E01 and 02)

Just as I was about to cancel my Apple TV subscription, I saw this show about a kidnapped influential American and four British suspects. I watched the first two episodes and it’s really promising. It’s paced well, characters have potential- there’s a murderous character in it and I’m not too sure about needless murders, but all in all, there’s enough here to keep me watching.

Movies to watch based on your favourite Black Mirror Episode

So..Black Mirror as a show started out really strong. It was innovative and fresh and so British…and then it…wasn’t. Hate it or love it, overall, there are some episodes that stand out and the world is moving so far in the direction of crazy, that so many things on Black Mirror don’t seem as far fetched as they used to. 

Anyway, I came, I watched and I remembered movies that were just like some episodes.

Arkangel is easy- if you liked that, then its just like the movie "the circle", which got bad reviews, but was truthfully just like an episode of black mirror- very well made movie, great acting, great scenery, and based on a book of the same name which was very easy to read.

if you liked Hang the DJ, which was my favourite episode, then you'll like "the Timer", a movie where people had the ability to buy a clock that counts down to meeting their soulmate. Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind is also a good movie to watch because it speaks to the fallacy of wiping your memory to start again.

If you liked USS Callister, you'll like Tron, where a boy and his dad go into the dangerous game that the father has created to stop it from doing stuff he didn’t intend it to do.

If you liked the memory aspect of Crocodile, you'll probably like the movie Majorie Prime, and if you liked the killing aspect, I'm sure there is no shortage of movies to satisfy your craving. 

Majorie Prime is also one to watch if you want a movie like story 2 in "Black Museum" where the dead live on, but for you more than them.

Reality Shows Before Social Media That Would Never Be Allowed Now

Life before social media was kind of wild. The media had so much power and whatever they said just went. We didn’t have the luxury of weighing options and making choices, we just kind of had to go along with whatever the media said. If we did have a problem, there were limited ways for us to share those thoughts online and of course, with the media having the power, they could just ignore it. Now, we are living in a whole new world where everyone is finally learning right from wrong and waking up from a deep media induced slumber. What I want to do today, is take us back to some of the dark times in tv.

Beauty and the Geek

Picture this- a line of skinny white blonde girls and a line of skinny white guys with glasses paired up to learn from each other and win challenges. The shallow beautiful girls teach the socially awkward virgins how to talk to women and the women learn to also have brains- wild! It went on for a good number of seasons and there was even a UK spinoff.

The Swan

The craziest of all time. “unattractive” women (aka ugly ducklings) would come on the show and be given extensive full body surgery and make overs to finally become “swans”- followed by a pageant where they showed off their full makeovers and one of the women crowned the ultimate swan. The surgeries were extensive and severe. Even as popular as surgery as become, I don’t think the show as it was then, would be accepted today.

Next

Literally, the human version of Tinder where people would go on multiple dates and just shout next if they didn’t like the person. This was one of the times when MTV was just churning out dating shows in all formats possible hoping for something to stick and it was so crazy.

Who wants to marry a millionaire

The bachelor, but if the bachelor is a millionaire (who turned out to be a fraud). It also reminds me of Joe Millionaire (where the women thought Joe was a millionaire but he was actually a construction worker).

There are so many more, like ANTM (which I LOVED but was questionable in hindsight), Tila Tequila (which was a wild mess) , I Wanna Marry Harry (where contestants thought they were competing for Prince Harry’s hand in marriage even though “Prince Harry” was just a red-haired actor). What a wild time it was.

What I've Been Watching Lately

I wonder if this situation is going to change production of tv shows and if there’s going to be more of a shift towards shooting entire seasons at once vs continually throughout the season. I’m still mourning the way New Amsterdam had to end this season and I hope that next season can bridge the gap.

Anyway, thanks to streaming services, there is still a lot of new content. Whether you’ll be able to focus long enough to get through anything is another matter entirely. Here is some stuff I’ve watched recently.

Trying(TV)

I thought this was based on the book of the same name and plot but apparently, it’s not? It’s about a couple that can’t conceive trying to adopt. It’s a really good watch, showing the growth of a couple and their friends.

Upload (TV)

Basically, before you die, you can choose to upload your consciousness to another world in the cloud, where you basically get to live forever (as long as you can pay for it). I didn’t expect much from it but it ended up being a fun watch, striking a good balance between funny and thoughtful. Looking forward to another season. This show is on Amazon prime.

Never Have I Ever (TV)

A teenage girl trying to throw herself into school popularity after losing her father. It was a strangely emotional show, that was also fun to watch. It was a different kind of high school tv show and I really enjoyed that.

The Half of It (Movie)

This movie is about a high school girl who gets extra cash by charging to write people’s essays until she’s asked to write a letter instead. It’s a story about friendship, which I loved.

Insecure(TV)

I’m sure you know what Insecure is already. I am loving it this season, especially the analysis and projections that everyone puts on it. Somehow the dynamics in the friendships and relationships are familiar to us all.

The Baker and the Beauty(TV)

I stopped in season 2 to confirm my suspicion that this show was created and written by a man, and I was right. It’s about a man who gets proposed to by his long term girlfriend and after he says no, gets invited out by a billionaire superstar, which begins their love story. And obviously, he’s a baker. The “beauty” and the “baker” are characters that are written exactly as you’d expect- the purest souls in the world who just happen to randomly connect. It’s kind of terrible but there’s a pandemic, so I watch it anyway.

Katy Keene(TV)

This is another one I would have dropped by now if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic. Katy Keene is trying to make it in fashion in NY and that is my favourite kind of plot, but the whole thing somehow doesn’t connect. The cinematography is dark and kind of yellow, which makes watching it kind of tiring.

The Photograph (Movie)

This finally came out on digital release and I was happy to finally see it, since I never got to see it in cinema. The plot could have been better developed but it was overall an easy fun watch. I enjoyed Issa’s style and hair- this was the first time I’ve seen her playing a wealthy character and she did not disappoint, that hair was laid! And this clothes fit perfectly.

What have you been watching lately? What do you recommend?

Self made - a C.J Walker story or a story of how the more things change, the more things stay the same

As I watched Octavia Butler’s amazing acting, some things started to occur to me. Why is this story, set in 1913 still so relevant 100 years later? Here are some of my observations

(I know Netflix took some liberties with the script and the series isn’t a completely accurate picture of everything that happened)

Dark skinned women have always been expected to stay in their place- I don’t know if I even need to explain this further, but we see this even now, how people are constantly threatened by the confidence of dark skinned women. Almost like if people don’t give you the permission to be confident, you’re not allowed to be that on your own. It’s exhausting now and was obviously exhausting enough in 1900.

Black men don’t see their liberation as equal to black women- in the series, there’s a scene where the head of the NAACP is saying that black men have to be liberated first before women and there still is that energy now, where women are still largely fighting for themselves and black men still see their own liberation as the most important part of black liberation.

Women moved women forward and still do- following on from the previous point, women are still largely responsible for moving women forward, contrary to popular belief. In the series, both Sarah Walker and Addie Munroe (who didn’t exist as Addie Munroe in real life) created thousands of jobs for women and empowered thousands of women through their businesses.

When the husband is the support, he wants the credit - in the series, Sarah’s husband gets upset when she refers to him as “doing the graphics” in a meeting. What he wants is equal recognition and to be seen as a joint partner and that’s still very common. In so many businesses owned by men, their female partners make enough contributions to be recognised as equal, and are still recognised as so. Men are excellent of not just being recognised for the labour of their female partners, but often even overshadowing said partners. Very rarely, do you see women fighting for credit of their partners business, but men dont even ask for credit, they just take it.

Find your lane- jealousy slows you down- in the series, Addie spends her whole career shadowing Sarah and trying to beat her. This doesn’t always happen in the caricature way it’s shown, but it happens often enough. Someone questioning how come their friend has more YouTube followers, how come they’ve gotten promoted at work? How come people listen to what they say on Instagram? Focusing on someone else’s path is a distraction and is pointless

Expectations on light skin beauty- everyone loses in colorism, even though each side would argue differently.

How much men feel entitled to women’s time- in the series, C.J fights with Sarah over how much she works and while that is an argument that can be flipped, it’s often an argument from this point of view. Lots of recent studies have shown that gender roles are actually regressing and although men often think of themselves as progressive, they are only progressive as long as it doesn’t actually affect them. So your wife can work and it’s great until she doesn’t cook or isn’t home when you are or works all the time. It’s fascinating that men with families can still live spontaneous lives and be flexible for work because their female partners will invariable take on more of the inflexible roles and compromise their own success. We have men that laugh at gender arguments on social media get offended that their wife doesn’t cook or clean enough, wants to outsource care of the baby, has spontaneous plans. It’s just so fascinating how little progress we’ve made in that regard.

I think there’s a tendency of people living in the present to romanticise the present and imagine that as bad as it is, it’s better than before. That’s not always the case at all, especially when it comes to human relations. Technology and medicine move faster than the development of gender roles and wow, it is exhausting.

Why Don't Men Touch Each Other?

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The new season of Black Mirror opens slow. There’s a club scene. There’s a couple and a friend who we’ve established is also their roommate. Having watched the last few seasons of black mirror, I waited to see what would happen- Were they suspended in some other reality? Was someone secretly a holograph?

All they did was dance and go home to have steamy sex (we know it was steamy because it wasn't in a bed) and then the guys stayed up all night playing a video game.

Now they are in the future and girlfriend is now wife with a much better weave, she looks hot tbh. Husband still looks terrible with his bad haircut, but now he’s also wearing daddy clothes and grilling meat and looking at the butt crack of one of the guests. He’s also 38. Hilarious because 38 is really not that old, but Hollywood likes to play like it’s 60. He tries to talk to other dads but it just doesn’t click. It is exactly the way Hollywood likes to portray marriage, deeply boring and unsatisfying. Friend shows up with a better haircut and has an awkward conversation with husband and gives him his gift- a reboot of the game they played so lovingly together all those years ago. They loosen up and start to talk about waxing balls- haha?

By now, we are basically 15 minutes in with no technology. The first sign of futuristic technology is a voice controlled dishwasher.

Husband and Friend are in that moment, in their separate lives, uninspired by their sex lives. Husband is playing online Tetris when he gets an invitation from Friend to play. They start their fighting game as the same characters they always used to pick but this time the game is enhanced by VR and real life touch. After enjoying testing out the feeling of punches, Friend (a female character) kisses Husband (a male character) in the game. Although Friend makes the first move, as he’s clearly wanted to the whole game, Husband throws himself into the kiss, until guilt breaks him away and he exits the game with a real life boner that he takes to bed to his real life wife.

The next night, Husband starts the game with the disclaimer “I can’t play long, I was drunk last time” insert side eye emoji Friend is like “oh sure, same”. It’s the language of people who are about to engage in something they shouldn’t. This time, there’s no hesitation, they get right to it. Afterwards, they talk about if it’s a gay thing, “it doesn't feel gay” Husband says before his son kicks him in real life and he has to exit the game. When his wife comes home, he pretends to be asleep, is it guilt or avoidance or a little bit of both.

Now that Pandora’s box has been open, they are having virtual sex every night and their real lives are consumed too. Husband can’t get it up for his wife, Friend can’t finish with his girlfriend. This isn’t just some virtual tryst they are having. After putting on virtual clothes post virtual sex, they lay down and they talk. Friend describes having sex in a female body as “the whole damn orchestra”. Husband and Wife go out for dinner on their wedding anniversary and Wife cries as she asks why he doesn’t want her anymore.

“I tried fucking their computer controlled characters, it’s bullshit, it’s like a rubber doll, they are not programmed for any sex stuff, they just sort of lie there”

The guilt sets in and he gives up the game. Friend is going crazy and refuses to let go. He tries to negotiate with Husband- “its not cheating”, “its not real” “its like porn”, what about if we only do it on the first Sunday of each month. Husband has made up his mind and refuses to negotiate. Husband is now back to bonding with his family and Friend is going crazy, until Wife invites Friend for dinner, and Husband’s avoidance tactics have to come to an end.

As they virtual kissed post the most intense virtual sex they had ever had, Friend whispered “I love you.”

you’re feeling it too, just say it

Husband angrily suggests that they should meet up in real life and he suggests that they kiss. They give each other a dry peck and feel nothing.

As far as I’m concerned, the idea that they would meet up, peck and know there are no sparks is bullshit. Sparks are funny, intimacy is funny, it doesn’t always respond to that kind of pressure/expectation. Haven’t you ever had a crush and the first kiss was meh, because there was all this build up to it, but then the like 4th kiss ends up being magical.

I know a big question in this episode that even the characters asked themselves was “is it a gay thing?’ . First, I think very rarely are people either gay or straight. Second, I feel like male friendship is such an interesting thing, there’s so much closeness without the intimacy and I feel like in this show, they were able to examine that intimacy in albeit an extreme way. For women, that intimacy might have been explored over time by holding hands and hugging and drunken I love you kisses- physical contact in a way men don’t have in their friendships. That also probably has something to do with friend feeling more relaxed and comfortable in his semi-virtual female self. When you’re an anxious person, it makes sense to continually look for ways to escape yourself. This is the perfect form of escape. You’re you, but you’re not you. In a way, developing a societally acceptable closeness with your friend in a semi-virtual world where you can both just be is an addictive idea.

Shows like Greys Anatomy (just joking, the only similarities are that these shows are also set in a hospital)

New Amsterdam

I love this show so much and I think what makes this show so great to watch is the characters. The cast is great and everyone’s personality/ storyline is fully formed. From the first episode, you get a good grasp of who each character is and as the show progresses, those characters change in many ways but they always stay true to the core of their character. There is also way less blood than Grey’s anatomy and the speeches aren’t as speechy. If you try it because of this post, message me and let me know what you think (yes even if you hate it). I’m dying to tell you the characters and plot lines I love most, but I don’t even want to give a single spoiler.

The Good Doctor

An American show copied from an award winning South Korean show of the same name (they bought the rights but still) about an autistic doctor, Shaun, trying to become a surgeon. The first season was very strong, fell off a bit in the second season, but it’s back on form. It’s nice to see how much Shaun develops as a person throughout the show.

The Resident

A show about good doctors in a bad system trying to figure out how to circumvent the system for the benefit of their patients. There’s a Nigerian doctor in the cast and the intern assigned to her back story definitely did a botched job, but it’s fine. The first two seasons are the strongest, so it’s worth watching.

Carol’s Second Act

This is a show about a 50 year old retired teacher who re-trained as a doctor and is now an intern in a hospital. It’s a sitcom but it’s fun to watch even though it isn’t always funny.

I’ve recently started even more medical tv shows if you can believe it, but I haven’t watched enough of any new one to add them to the list. There are also some that were really good but got cancelled after one or two seasons. It’s crazy how many of these I watch. If you have any recommendations, leave them in the comments below!

Netflix Love is Blind is a whole mess and we are all obsessed with it

When Netflix first announced Love is Blind, my mind went to Dating in the Dark and the Circle. When it launched, what I got was more “90 Day Fiance”. I’m really curious about why Americans love these sorts of “experiments”? When the UK tried to do Married at First Sight, it was a lot of people being disgusted at the altar but American shows seem to thrive off this dynamic?

The show starts with the hosts explaining how it works- it’s pretty much blind dating (emphasis on the blind) that can lead to an engagement and then marriage. I wonder who picks and buys the rings? Does the show supply them? Also, apparently, 8 couples got engaged but the show only followed 6, which is kind of sad.

So they enter pods and start dating. I was watching lazily at first until I heard Lauren say “I love you” after like two days of talking to Cameron. I screamed when he said it back and neither of them seemed to be joking! Lauren said it best when she said “I have food in my fridge that has been there longer than I’ve known him”- exactly girl.

Lauren and Camron are the least of our problems- Barnett (who thought Diamond was a stripper off her name alone) is juggling three girls. They may not be able to see him but they definitely feel his frat boy- unserious- will hundred- percent -be- bad- for- you energy and they are loving it. His favourite seems to be Jessica, but she’s also juggling Mark. Maybe it’s because Mark is 24 or she’s going back to a shared house with two other girls interested in Barnett, but Jessica gives Mark the “it’s not really me and it’s not really you, but I’m out of here” and she’s all set to tell Barnett he’s her number one! But again, Barnett, right on form, is suddenly confused even though he told Jessica she was top runner. She flies into a fit and leaves him alone in his pod with his words hanging from his mouth but then she goes back to the house to try to convince the other girls that like him to leave him alone- obviously, they are looking at her like ??? That’s just one less person to compete with.

Jessica goes back to Mark with her tail between her legs and he happily takes her back seeing as he didn’t have any other options and he really wants to prove that he’s the one for her.

Diamond and Carlton both share really deep experiences with each other and end up engaged, so do Kelly and Kenny (who we know basically nothing about) Giannina and Damien, Barnett and Amber, Jessica and Mark and Lauren and Cameron.

When the couples meet each other, they all seem fairly happy. Damien and Amber are happier than anyone else- It’s safe to say that in the real world, they often date people that fall below that bar. It’s interesting to me that Amber says that she struggles to date in the real world because she’s too attractive? And then it’s impossible for people to see past that but her relationship with Barnett hinges on that physical connection.

Also, there seems to be a standard level of attractiveness throughout the cast. Everyone is kind of in the generally accepted realms of attractive. I’m curious about that casting choice- maybe Netflix didn’t want discussions to be focused on looks and more on the couples and it seems to have worked.

On the first night in a Mexican resort, 3 couples proceed to have sex. Giannina is ready to go for it, after a dry spell of over a year - Lauren and Cameron already seem married and are so sweet about it and Amber and Barnett- duh.

You can immediately tell that Jessica is slightly repulsed by Mark and she quickly shuts down any talk of physical activities. Kelly also does the same.

Diamond and Carlton aren’t even at that point, because he’s too busy being rude and a bit aggressive. Because they’ve bonded in the pods, she identifies that something is wrong and pushes him to talk about it. His secret is that he’s bisexual. Diamond is taken aback on two fronts- one, that his sexuality is different to what she thought and two that their honest bond wasn’t as honest as she assumed. As he bursts into tears, she comforts him by rubbing his back but also says that she needs to think about what it means.

In the end, we never get to hear Diamond’s thoughts because Carlton bullies her out of having thoughts and feelings and without enjoying the resort paradise, they go their separate ways.

And now there were 5. Now all the couples meet for the first time. Jessica is instantly attracted to Barnett and Amber is holding on tight. Kelly is randomly talking about Cameron being attractive and I’m kind of like - chill babe, he’s not here for you. Jessica has picked up on the physical vibes between Barnett and Amber and you can see her playing her + Barnett in her head (he on the other hand doesn’t seem at all interested). Then she hit us with “if I had coupled up with Barnett, you would be seeing a more sophisticated, more mature Barnett”. She can’t stop talking about this guy and Mark is getting more and more desperate to hold on. In the end, she reneges on the engagement but still wants to try and see where their relationship goes?

Jessica is quickly becoming the villain of the series. It is clear that she doesn’t like Mark- not as a friend, not as a colleague and definitely not as a person to marry. I don’t know what her motivations are yet, but hopefully, they will become clearer.

And I almost forgot about Giannina and Damien. He put his job in jeopardy to come on the show? I definitely feel like there’s a lot that he’s hiding and I can’t wait for his truth to come out because she has been nothing but honest and upfront and I think she deserves at least that back.

As it stands now, the only couple I can see getting married is Lauren and Cameron, I’m even happy for them that they came on the show because they seem to have gotten the most out of the experience. I just don’t see any of the others making it to the altar?

What are your thoughts on the show and the couples?

TV I’m looking forward to in January 2020

I have a very specific taste in tv shows (some people describe it as bad, I describe it as life is short and I like to be entertained, not intellectually stimulated). It’s very hard to find shows I really like, so when I find shows I like, I cling through the ups and downs (that’s a lie, I cut shows off like people cut off people in the new year).

This list is full of stuff I’m excited to come back and there’s only one new show, which is a shame because I watched the trailer of every-new-show-being-released-in-January and there was only one thing I was interested in. Anyway, before my introductory ramble gets as long as food bloggers before their recipes, let’s get into the post.

Shrill

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illustration by @whatdamidid

For some reason, I don’t know a lot of people that watched season 1- I really enjoyed the fresh take on self-love and I’m excited season 2 is out on 

Love island (British Version)

Obviously made this poster for my fictional show

The thing about love island is that it’s a great communal show. Last season saw me getting into a groupchat fight that led to me leaving and forming a second and longer lasting Love Island groupchat. It’s exciting to gather round at 9pm everyday and watch real life events happen. I was so immersed in last season, I ended up writing some spoof episodes. I wanted to write a whole season but the show ended and my ginger ended along with it. This is the first season set in South Africa as well although I don’t think that’s going to make a lot of difference because all we see is a villa. This is also the first season where the presenter that dated a 16/17 year old that appeared on a show she hosted, when she was 32, Caroline Flack, would be absent from.

New Amsterdam

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What is it with medical shows??? I discovered this show two months ago and ended up watching it all in 2 or 3 days. I was shocked when I got to the last episode. They took a mid season break early and I cant wait for it to come back.

The Bold Type

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There was a time where I thought for SURE I was going to end up working at a magazine. One time when I modelled for a magazine I loved, I tried to experience as much of their office and work as possible, I definitely overstayed my welcome. The Bold Type is definitely me living out my magazine work dreams and I’m super excited for season 4.

Kims convenience

This show was a slow grower but I kept going back and I was suddenly obsessed with the Kim family. I’m happy to have them back in my life this month.

Grown-ish

When anyone talks about how bad Grownish is, I make what I hope looks like almost agreeable head movements because I love it and I feel like it keeps getting better and after the cliff hanger of the last episode, I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Sex education

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illustration by @whatdamidid

This absolute delightful show is back for a second season this month and I cant wait to devour it.

 Katy keene

Fashion was another industry I was sure I was going to work in (and I did for a few years) and I love seeing people try to “make it” on screen. From what I can see, this show is about people trying to “make it” in different creative fields and the cast is diverse, so I’m kind of ready to dive in.

What Turn Up Charlie Gets Right About Being Nigerian

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illustration by @whatdamidid

Turn up Charlie premiered on Netflix on March 15 2019. I watched it like an hour after it dropped and finished it in that sitting. It has all the elements of shows I like; light, but emotional, funny and flawed characters with one or two redeeming qualities. I ignored the Ankara and ridiculous accents and enjoyed the whole thing. 

 For some people though, the opening Nigerian scene was too much and turned them more into turned off chale (haha I’m funny). They didn’t want to watch yet another parody. As Nigerians get even trendier, I don’t think we’re going to stop seeing ourselves parodied in books, and in tv shows. The thing that people are not acknowledging is that for all the things it got wrong about being Nigerian, there are a lot of things that it got right.

Let’s do a quick analysis of all the things it got wrong first. 

 The outfits

Can we actually just stop with Ankara, even our friends abroad that always manage to be at least 7 seasons behind local wedding trends have let it go. Even Stella Jean …the Haitan-Italian designer who used Ankara as her claim to fame has expanded.So has Lisa Folawiyo. The moment Stella Mccartney made a collection of house wear Ankara dresses and sold them for thousands of pounds, it should have been a signal to every vaguely African intern giving advice to tv studios about Nigeria to yell cut on Ankara.  

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Snail

In one of the episoes, Charlies ex-girlfriend comes to give him a package of snails that his parents sent her from Nigeria. First of all, no one is sending anyone live snails, like can we chill. The snails would have been cooked, peppered, frozen and THEN sent. Secondly, his auntie makes some French snails and serves that up for dinner. My heart actually stopped in my chest because “are you mad??” that is NOT how we eat snail. We don’t suck anything. They should have asked the intern that made the anecdote about eating snail expand on what they meant ffs.

 Now, let’s go to a main thing- the accent. 

For anyone that grew up in Nigeria and went to A levels or uni in England, hearing a number of amalgamated accents is nothing new. So, it’s surprising to me that this confusing mess of accents hasn’t been adequately represented yet on tv. There’s that confusing lilt at the end of every sentence, and the way that some words crowd together, and that’s just from people that are trying to force themselves into a British accent. 

 There were the people that were raised in England from young age but grew up speaking Yoruba in their homes. The way the h factor and other Yoruba factors made it into their language and how their accents are perfectly British except for vowels and h consonants. 

 There were also people (like me) whose minds mentally started to switch accents and whose mouths would stop halfway. So, you’re stuck in this accent that is still Nigerian, but also not at the same time. I had an uncle that used to make fun of my accent in private, I found him ridiculous, but for my own privacy, I won’t say why. 

 These characters in Turn up Charlie- the accent they speak is just untrue, considering the fact that so many Nigerians speak perfect British, American or just plain Nigerian accents. Your accent isn’t what makes you Nigerian and I don’t see why TV takes that (and Ankara) as the only way to express authenticity.

 What they do get right is community.

Charlie is staying with his auntie who often pays his debts, takes him in rent free and feeds him. She supports him even when she doesn’t support his actions. But it also shows how community is extremely kind to Nigerian men. If we search our hearts, we all know a man that has survived abroad with community behind him, even when he hasn’t served that community in return. Unfortunately, from my observation, it’s not the case for women. I cannot imagine a woman in his position trying to do the same thing and being met with the same level of support. This guy was living in his auntie’s house and bringing women over…to…have…sex…with. Lol. 

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Respect

In the opening scene, Charlie calls his aunty by her name and she’s quick to correct him “who is Lydia, it is aunty Lydia, how many times must I repeat it”

Most family secrets are open secrets.

The auntie is gay and outed by Charlie to his parents in the middle of a tantrum. However, the family already knows. Because of course they do. All families have their share of people with behaviours that they openly condemn and what they do with those people is judge them, in the hope that the judgment drives the secret underground more than solves it in any way. It’s not that they even think about whether or not they care about your attraction to people of the same sex, they care that you don’t show it or act on it. It obviously drives a wedge between family members, but it’s also a wedge that people choose to ignore. It’s a reminder that Nigerian love, family or not, is often conditional. 

Some other random things

 Charlie pretended to be successful- to his friends, to his parents. He rejected his friend’s offer of payment for nannying even though he was completely broke at the time. Having an inflated ego isn’t unique to Nigerians, but it’s a definite constant in Nigerians.

 The degrees of separation between Nigerians are usually very short. After Charlie brings a random babe home, and his auntie walks in, she leaves her with “greet your mother for me”.

 In the beginning of episode 2, the shot pans out to some random African city and the parents have a sticker of the Nigerian flag on their laptop. Lol. The conversation confirms so many stereotypes- “who is right, your mother or your watch?” and then requesting more money, then comparing him to other family members “your cousin in Manchester has been promoted and is having two babies” and then a little insult “she doesn’t want to end up like my poor sister Lydia, childless and alone.”

I hope Nigerians on tv and in print on on the big screen is something that’s here to stay and I hope depictions get more accurate as we tell our own stories!

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Money

That’s the theme of the movie and what we see from the first scene. Even though a man is murdering his daughter on her count of ten, the motivation cuts through the scene, “I love you my love, but not as much as I love money”. Scene two and we are clubbing in Cubana. Nnamdi is with his friend pre-celebrating a new contract. He bumps into an old attractive acquaintance on her way into V.I.P. and stands outside the velvet ropes looking at all the money being spent. “I must make this money”, he says out loud to himself. That’s the Nigerian anthem, this money must be made. We all see ourselves in V.I.P and benzes - if not today, then next year or the year after that.

Nnamdi is the exact picture of how most Nigerians see themselves. Smart, humble, hard working, likeable, loyal and willing to take risks. He needed to be all these things so that his desire for money stayed within ambition and never strayed into greed. Interesting that when Ramsey Nouah, leader of the 6 finally asked him what he was willing to do for money, he had already signed deals, was already in a different level in life, was already flying private, but that doggedness, that desire for more and more money, pushed him to say yes.

You too dey do yourself

Here’s the thing- everyone in Lagos wants to make money, but no-one really wants you to be out there with that desire. Nnamdi gets a job in an advertising agency five years after graduating (the job hunt is a humbling experience), and then takes the opportunity to steal a client from his agency less than one year into his job. It doesn’t work out, so his ex colleagues, friends and family see it as an opportunity to tell him he’s doing too much. If his risk had paid off, it would have been a very different story.

I hate to wonder if the fact that Nnamdi was adopted had anything to do with his casting as the “problem child.” It didn’t seem like it from the movie, but I’m projecting the Nigerian factor on that family dynamic.

You know what’s doing too much? Signing a contract with your blood, waking up with a branded tattoo like an occultic slave and still having the good mind to carry on living your life. Still have time to meet a babe and have witty banter and send doughnuts to the office and even have darkened room sex. Still have time to sit down and say “ask me anything”, that’s entirely too much.

Let everything that bites at night be termed mosquito

Aka don’t ask too many questions. It doesn’t matter that Nnamdi was asking about his actual father, you would think he was asking some philosophical religious question. That’s the problem- no one wants to have conversations with you, until you go and make a mistake you could have been prevented from making and then suddenly, everyone is full of stories.

It’s interesting that Kelly and Tobi took the information that Nnamdi was in a devilish cult quite calmly. If someone I loved was being controlled by demons that asked them to kill me, it’s like I love(d) you but bye. At least, I love you but let me think about what this means for a minute, or you know, months or years. I am not going to be by your bedside when you wake up in the hospital, to be quite honest. I might text you from a burner phone or something. I don’t get, so Andy and Nnamdi are going to start sharing stories about cult days? (oh hey, isn’t that heavy black thing itchy? in my day, it was actually made from lighter fabric) Also, what happens to the money? Does it disappear? Or do you get to keep what you’ve already made, because if you’d made like a bajillion Naira, you would be fine you know? Not a bad deal for selling your soul. Sell soul, make a little money, exit cult, stay rich. Definitely a better deal than being hunted and killing two wives and a little girl.

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Fake it till you make it

When Nnamdi said he faked wine and food knowledge to fit in after being in Lagos for less than a year, I’m like chill. This same Lagos? But then I thought about it again, Lagos is actually full of people “faking it”. If you were to believe the image, it would seem like Lagos is full of possibilities, that’s why so many of us “moved back”. When we see documentaries like the BBC Welcome to Lagos, we are riled up because “this is not my Lagos”,m but even the best parts of Lagos are faking it. Banana island if faking it, Bourdillon is faking it and the Ferrari was faking it in the movie.

Women Are As Usual, the Weakest Link

The first slaughter we see is, a little girl. The sacrifice in the ritual— a woman. All the sacrifices we were told about? women. The closest we came to equality of sacrifice was Nnamdi briefly considering slaughtering his brother. What struck me about this chain of events was that the sacrifice was apparently supposed to be of “the person you love the most”, please please and please- this was obviously not the case in these sacrifices. These men loved each other more.

Rituals aside, I liked how this showed how men push men ahead in life. A man can like another man’s tie and give him a contract based on that. Women are as usual, props- supporting characters. In a business meeting, Ramsey gets up and asks his “skimpy” dressed “associate” to “entertain” his guests (listen, I know it’s a lot of quotation marks, but you get my gist.)

This confident stunning girl reverts to the role of supporting character in her man’s life. The way she speaks to him is exactly how “good” women are taught to speak to men - “I don’t want to push it, but I don’t know enough about you”. When he’s a little violent, she understands that he’s not being himself. When she finds out that he’s part of a powerful cult responsible for the murder of a bunch of people, she’s right by his side, ushering people away from his precious body.

How can you tell if the money you’re getting paid is blood money?

And does it matter? because I’m Nigerian so obvs I still want to make money and that. I’d much prefer it if the money didn’t come from someone slaughtering their daughter in the middle of the night when she thinks they are going on an adventure to see a waterfall.

If you guys know about that life, comment anonymously and explain how I can get rich but also avoid the money from the cults and stuff.

Also, if you’ve watched, comment and let me know your thoughts (wait, is it obvious that i’m fishing for comments? somebody save me).