illustration by @whatdamidid
The age 30 is sold as this monumental life changing age. When I turned 30, I had been married for a week and unemployed for a year. My amazing friend and my partner threw me the surprise party OF MY DREAMS. Then we went on a midnight boat ride and it was a really perfect way to enter 30. Four months in, I was STILL unemployed (which I still am) and my mum died. I was already feeling rootless and stressed and now I was grieving. The rest of 30 was filled with grief, rejection, close relationships falling apart and me shouting internally “why can’t I catch a break?”. Those are really the perfect conditions for learning lessons and I’m going to share some of them with you. I also discussed something similar in my podcast. Anyway, here we go.
1. Friendships come and go- it’s okay if it goes, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.
2. It's okay to do nothing- you don’t have to always be busy. Taking a break doesn’t always mean slowing down, sometimes it means doing nothing.
3. It's okay for your plans to change- even if you’ve had those plans for a very long time.
4. You're never too old to grieve- grief is no respecter of age, pain is till pain.
5. You're never too old to start again- it doesn’t matter if it looks like everyone else is young- live the one life you hav.
6. Supplements work- take a multivitamin. You’re 99.2 percent not getting everything you need from your diet. Sometimes you can’t sleep because you’re deficient in magnesium, sometimes you’re tired because you’re low on iron.
7. It's easier to control yourself than try to control everyone else- when things get hard and someone isn’t listening, focus on what you can do, not what the other person should.
8. You can regret a workout- don’t workout when you’re sick or injured- don’t workout just because you hate yourself that day or you’re trying to “earn” a meal.
9. Overdressed or under dressed are concepts that you can define for yourself.
10. You will sometimes dislike your partner- they are not perfect, because they are human.
11. You can find vegetables you like- and they don’t have to be green.
12. Speak up for yourself- even if your voice shakes..
13. but pick your battles- sometimes it’s not worth it, before you start the battle, ask yourself how much you care about the outcome.
14. study yourself- self reflect often- you don’t always have to have a journal to journal, write in your notes app- it doesn’t exist only for celebrity apologies, send a text to yourself, send an email- think about your thoughts and actions and desires often.
15. It's okay to change your mind- about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs- it might seem like everyone is already woke, but it takes time to develop your thoughts and ideas on lots of things and that might mean changing your mind often, it’s okay.
illustration by @whatdamidid
16. Money ebbs and flows- except you’re like the 0.1 wealthiest, then I don’t know how money works for you, but please enjoy!
17. You're allowed to walk away from people- yes, even family.
18. Don't hate follow anyone- if everytime someone posts on social media, it irritates you, unfollow them and protect your mental space
19. Buy the best stuff you can afford- it will make your life so much better
20. People owe you things – and you owe people things- it is impossible to exist without expecting things or owing things.
21. So much of life is random- when it’s hitting you hard in the face, it’s hard not to take it personally, but try.
22. You can’t spend your whole life hating your current body- if you can’t love it, accept it- even if you still plan to change it- accept it today.
23. It’s okay for your hobby to not turn into a business.
24. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy your job but you like other parts of going to work- even if its just the money.
25. Every big decision feels monumental at the time but eventually, it becomes very minor – remember that if you want to end your marriage or quit your job or change your course.
26. You cannot prevent people from hating you or gossiping about you, and no matter how good you are, it will happen, so live your life freely and happily.
27. Ask.
28. Just because you’re open about your life doesn’t make you a fool- there is nothing special about being secretive.
29. When someone tells you that you hurt them, your first instinct will be to be defensive, pause, ask for some time and think about what they said. It makes a world of difference. Hurting someone doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
30. Relationships are built on a series of small actions, so send that text, reply to that Instagram post, meet up for coffee or lunch, pay a visit, don’t wait until birthdays or you’ll look back in a few years and have no friends.