For my birthday this year, I wanted to start with a post titled “30 things I’ve learnt from being 30” or some variation of that. I’ve written 30 lessons and was all set to post it, but I’ve decided to start the new year the way I’ve lived the last year- honestly.
Earlier this year, I published this podcast episode about what it’s like to be 30 and unsuccessful. It was actually really hard to put myself out there like that and I don’t think I can listen to it but I was sick of this idea that 30 was this magical year of success and wealth- I’m sure it is for some people, but it wasn’t for me and it’s not for a lot of people.
Yes, I was sharing the truth, but a big part of me felt like it was the truth before the breakthrough, like obviously I’ve been through this and shared it and only a matter of time before I start seeing the windows to success opening.
I’m 31 and unsuccessful. Oops.
This isn’t a sad post and no, I’m not going to scrounge through my year looking for something that looks like success in order to reframe my story, it is what it is. If you had told me when I was 23, that I would be here, broke and relatively unaccomplished, I would have laughed in disbelief at the guts of you to imagine it.
But yet.
Life is random and interesting and you just never know. I’ve made peace with not controlling outcomes, just processes and for the first time in a long time, I feel…okay.
Happy birthday to me.